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15.9.06

Kris Aquino: Monster Biatch?

Umiikot sa mga emails:

A FAN OF KRIS

I never liked Kris Aquino. But I never disliked her either. I feel
indifferent where she's concerned? until recently.

You see, I have this 14-year-old niece who, only God knows why, is a
die-hard Kris Aquino fan. Case in point, her name starts with a "G", but
she wears a necklace with a "K" pendant. Also, she tells her friends
that she's really an adopted child and that her real Mother is former
president Cory Aquino. Crazy kid.

And of course, like any other fan, she buys stuff Kris endorses?bags,
fragrances, jewelry? everything! So, when the family (meaning my
brothers, my sisters ? the whole immediate clan) learned of this "cute"
idiosyncrasy, we were supportive. Kunsintidor, even.

My sister-in-law, who used to play bit parts in movies, (she's really
pretty, by the way), arranged for us to get seats at the taping of Kris'
show, Game Ka Na Ba? Needless to say, my niece was thrilled.

So, yesterday, a Wednesday, taping for the Game Ka Na Ba? Celebrity
edition episode, my niece and I, together with her sister and some of my
friends, went to ABS CBN to watch the absurdly (in)famous Kris Aquino.

Anyhow, I was happy to see my nieces really excited; especially since
the younger one just got out of the hospital because of Dengue, plus the
fact that I rarely see them since they stay in the province. They were
chatting away endlessly in the cab on way to the studio about how they
would embrace Kris when they see her; that they're sure she smells nice;
that their friends back in Nueva Ecija would just die with envy when
they see the pictures; that James Yap is the luckiest guy ever; that
Josh must be spoiled with Kris' love; that she's just perfect; and so
on.

They both looked really pretty, too ? new clothes, neat hair, clean
nails, and with "just the right jewelry". They said they didn't want
Kris to think they're from a "bad family." They wanted to impress her.

We were at the audience entrance by 4pm, and were fetched right away by
one of the ABS CBN people (VIP, diba?). Unfortunately, kids weren't
allowed to sit with the audience so my nieces were given "special" seats
near Kris' dressing room, where they got a better view of the show that
was taking place.

Me? I was clapping with the audience in step with the Game Ka Na Ba?
theme. Itchyworms was guest band so it wasn't that bad.

And so after being subjected to clapping till my hands hurt, I was
advised that I could then take a picture of my nieces with Kris. It was
7.30pm. Despite the long wait, my nieces were really excited and they
were smiling from ear to ear.

I could see that Kris, for some reason, was not thrilled at all with the
picture-taking thing. I was hoping though that she would pretend delight
for my nieces' sake after all they're kids who adore her!

But as I was about to take the picture, she said: "That's not a nice
angle, pa-vertical mas maganda." I adjusted my camera, but realized they
were standing against the light. So I shifted to the original horizontal
angle.

"Vertical sabi, eh!" She said, in her shrilly, irritating voice. I bit
my lip and shut my mouth because I wanted to the take the picture for my
niece. So I angled the camera vertically as she said, but placed the
camera lower, angling it in a way that the light behind her head won't
be captured.

"Not like that," she shouted. "Up. Move it up! UP!!!" Motioning for me
to move the camera up, so the picture would be taken top-view. Then she
actually grabbed my arm and pushed upward!

The nerve of that woman to treat me like that!!! I wanted to slap her
and say: "What the fuck for? You look like the same slut whatever angle it
may be!"

Instead I said, levelly, "You're against the light, Kris, I can't take
the shot that way."

"Eh, may flash naman yan diba?" she retorted in her shrilly, nasal,
voice.

I wanted to spit on her overly made-up face right there and then! For
someone who pretends she's smart, that was a really stupid remark! With
dripping sarcasm, I said. "Exactly, over-exposed yan. Move a little
please."

She did so but impatiently and crossly, almost knocking my niece over. I
took the picture and she smiled right on cue, then she fled. My younger
niece, who I thought was oblivious to the tension, didn't pose with her
sister and shouted, almost tearfully, "ANG SUNGIT MO NAMAN, KRIS!"

My heart almost broke. I wanted to kill Kris.

Then I looked at my other niece, the one who swore would change her
family name to Aquino one day, and saw that her eyes were downcast. She
looked like she was trying really hard not to cry. Then she said
quietly, "Ang pangit pala ng ugali nun."

I checked the digital picture that I took?Kris' smile was flawless,
without a trace of the monstrosity she just displayed. And kid beside
her, my niece, looked like she just realized that she was having her
picture taken with a two-faced monster.

"Baka she's tired lang, Gelline," I told my niece.
"Kahit na! Kame nga galing pa ng Nueva Ecija tapos di pa kame dinner,
naghintay kame para lang sa picture, tapos binastos ka pa niya! SALBAHE
SIYA!" she replied, clearly bitter and sulking.

You know what's the worst thing about this whole scene? It's the fact
that I'm sure Kris doesn't know and couldn't care any less that she just
hurt two loving kids who did nothing wrong except chose her as their
"idol".

And it's inexplicable how Kris can get away with her unacceptable
manner: she's tactless, she's an advocate of gossip and scandal, and
she's an epitome of a woman with loose morals.

Kris makes me sick.

Clearly, this proves the legends wrong, monsters don't lurk inside the
closet? they're on TV.

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